Ah, yes. To make it to the fall, I have taken up a position as a lifeguard at a local water park. It's hot, it's crazy long shifts, but I do find myself liking my job. There are bad days, sometimes - but that happens with any job.
Remember this beauty of a blog post; Happy Customers, Happy Business ? Surprise! This is basically a continuation of that. This time, we're talking about what lifeguards want you to know next time you go to a water park.
Now some of you may be thinking, 'Oh, those crazy kids. Of course they drive you crazy not following the rules.' Fun fact: I have more adults than children who break the rules where I work. The worst one that the kids break most of the time is
1. No Running!
Goodness gracious, I don't understand how the concept of walking is so difficult. Yes, I know that you are excited to be here and go to this slide / ride / play area, but please walk. We don't want you slipping, falling, and getting hurt. (Yes, this has happened in the way of bloody noses....a few times.)
Parents, if you see one of us asking your child to "Walk, please!", do not respond with 'It's not a big deal.' Chickadee and Chickasir, the reason we are asking them to do this is because walking is a rule at all water parks. This is for their protection. Also, if this is the fourth or fifth time that we've addressed this issue to your child, make sure they understand. We get tired of repeating ourselves as much as you do.
2. Read the signs.
We have a lot of areas in our water park ( as most do ) that limit who can ride them by size. Sometimes there's a minimum and sometimes there's a maximum. We have to enforce these so that people don't end up hurt or find themselves in a situation where they are not strong enough to swim. And yet, parents argue these with us all the time.
'I never saw a sign.' / 'You think there would be a sign.' Just because you didn't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.
'That's a stupid rule.' Duly noted. That's not going to change it.
"Why can't you make an exception?' Because that puts the person coming down the ride/ the people around them / the ride itself / the lifeguard at the location at risk. We cannot make an exception for you, no matter how mad you get.
3. We are not free babysitters.
You would think that this one would be understood, but no. Our job is to constantly scan a certain area we are assigned. We watch to make sure that kids / parents / guardians are following the rules and that there is no one floating unconscious in the water. I cannot personally watch Little Sally for you. That's your job as their guardian.
4. Don't argue with the lifeguard.
This one doesn't apply to children as much as it applies to adults. I have grown men and women try to fight me on rules they don't see as fun or fair for their child. These rules are in place for a reason. My job is to enforce them. No, you can't swim past the rope because that's out of my vision. No, I don't care that the tubes floated past the line. No, you can't ride down the slide with you're kid because you're past the height limit. No, you can't ride down the ride with the baby in your lap, it's not safe. I mean... y'all. Come on. These are common sense things! I'm not going to apologize that you are required to follow the rules just like anyone else. Being an adult doesn't make you an exception.
While we're on the topic of exceptions...
5. Season pass holders doesn't make you VIP.
No matter where I have gone, I have never understood this concept. I get that you have paid for a pass that allows you unlimited visits. You did not pay for a pass that makes you an exception to our rules.. These rules are here to keep you safe so that you can keep coming back. You are all guests in our park and we will treat you equally.
6. Please, please no more Dead Man's Float.
Y'all. Y'all. When you play these games, or any hold your breath / dunking / screaming that you're going to drown yourself type games, we are trained to react. We are trained to save your life. Once we have completed this task, you and your guardians are then forced to sit down with my bosses and fill out paperwork of why the lifeguard had to jump in and save you. Now, this summer I have had (as most in the park have) legitimate saves. I am never mad about having to do them, never. I will be extremely pissed to jump into the water to save someone who is faking it.
Actually...maybe not. Maybe embarrassing the mess out of you and your parents will be enough motivation for you to stop.
Please don't fake things like that in front of life guards. We can't tell the difference. Doing any type of rescue is super stressful. Please, I am pleading with you, don't make us do it for illegitimate reasons. It also means that we might miss someone who really, actually needs our help.
So, yeah. Those are six things that lifeguard would really like you to know this summer. We are here to make sure that bad situations don't become worse. We are trained and constantly tested to make sure our skills are all fresh. We are happy to complete our job to keep people safe. I hope that you keep these things in mind next time you're at a water park.
Happy Fourth of July. Until next time,
Kaity
(Comic Created by Patrick Hardin. )
