A New Kind of Tired

Everybody warned me that the first week of teaching would be hell, especially on a new teacher. Especially on a Deaf Ed newbie like myself. But y'all, I still didn't know what would hit me.

Here I sit at 10:05 on a Sunday night, just wrapping up my lesson plans for this week. Not any of the materials - just the actual plans themselves. It has taken me over 4.5 hours to come up with six subject lesson plans for the week. (18 lesson plans because we have a weird block schedule-type thing.) I. Am. Pooped.

I think that the part of that is two-fold. First, I am learning the system of the school. Dos and don'ts, things that need to get done, how to be a case manager,  and how to do extra things that I didn't know I was going to be doing this year. Of course, add on that that we didn't get our schedules until three days in and you have a fairly stressed child.

Then, on top of that, those subjects that I never, ever wanted to see in my lifetime again have been added to my schedule. Geometry? Easy Peasy. Math Models? No sweat. Basic Science? I'll figure it out. World History? English? Now you've lost me.

Luckily, there are some nice teachers up here at Weatherford ISD that are pretty awesome and very willing to help a Newbie Teacher like me out. It brings my stress level down from about 100 to a 98.

All I know is that I am just so tired and there seems to be a never-ending list of things that need to be taken care of for school - which right now trumps the wedding and personal to-do lists. I feel like grad school taught me the theory behind swimming and then, feeling confident, I jumped into the deep end of the pool with no floaties on. Even though I'm pumping my arms and legs as fast as they will go, it feels like it's barely enough to keep my head above water.

People are constantly telling me that it will get easier - by the third year, you'll have a system down. Right now, I'm praying that I just get to the end of the week. We're already the second week in and I'm realizing mistakes that I've made; changes to how I would like to run my classroom. Right now, it's easy to change up what I'm doing, but I know it won't be easier the deeper we go.

If I were to sum up this last week into one word, it would be overwhelming. I am tired, both mentally and physically. I feel like I've been working nonstop and have very little to show for it. I know that most people always talk about the positives that happen in their life, but I want to give an accurate portrayal of becoming an adult, and it's not all butterflies and roses. This week was hard, y'all, and I know it won't be the only one.

So, this week, pray for the teachers. Pray for the ones who have been there for years, and then give extra prayers to the newbies like me, who feel like they are quite literally drowning. Pray that, as we are learning how to swim, we are reminded of why we chose this profession in the first place.

Thanks,

Kaity